a wholly owned subsidiary of RSS Enterprises
“If it works right, it’s probably a CleverDick.”
Our mission: to create tools and ideas that hone, debone, recone, zone, create and/or desecrate the fate of both skilled and hapless men and women, boys and girls, and dogs and cats of all ages for the ages.
Our product lineup is always expanding (much like our middle-aged waistlines) and, as always, are designed with your mind in mind.
All products and ideas are protected by our crack team of pit-bull lawyers (a real nice bunch of guys in gray Armani suits).
all rights reserved, you have been warned!
Our first products are now available:
The Grandaddy Longlegs extra-reach pincer device-
For grabbing those nails, staples, or nose hairs that are just out of reach!
The Helping Hand extendo-stick-
When you need that “third hand” at a distance!
The self-anesthetizing Baseball Bat-
Why be a slave to those nasty, habit-forming sleep-aids any longer?
SputumEze and the newly redesigned Phlegmatic-
Smokers Hack? Tuberculosis? Lung cancer? Rid yourself of embarrasing loogies and hockers discreetly with these easy-to-use devices!
These are just a few of our ever-expanding line of products. To order, call now and have your credit card ready- our flunkie is standing by...
Ralph Spoilsport sez:
“Call today because there might not be a tomorrow!”